We can speculate all we want about Joseph Gordon-Levitt's sexuality, but that won't actually make him gay. This song, on the other hand, might just charm him into it.
Actor, comedian, and singer-songwriter Mat Burrow wrote and performed this ode to JGL's overwhelming appeal. It's sweet, but it's also explicit enough to include references to face-sitting and erections. After his performance, Burrow acknowledges that he may have to change some of the lyrics if he makes it onto The Ellen Show.
The video was recorded by Grammy Award nominee Sara Bareilles, who wrote "Love Song" and thus knows something about this particular genre.
Let's hope Gordon-Levitt issues a response — ideally one set to music.