Why Isn't Rush Limbaugh Talking About the Real Batman Conspiracy?

Today on his radio show, Rush Limbaugh blew the lid off of President Obama's most devious plot yet: the villain in this summer's new Batman move is named Bane, a homophone of Bain, the financial services company founded by Mitt Romney. But why is Limbaugh ignoring the far deeper, and far more disturbing conspiracy right in front of his nose?

Obviously, Limbaugh deserves to be commended for his groundbreaking work uncovering how in 1993, Obama convinced comic writer Chuck Dixon to create a super-villain named Bane, knowing that two decades later he would be locked in a close presidential election campaign with the obscure son of a moderate Republican governor, at the time making gobs of money in Boston:

Have you heard this new movie, the Batman movie, what is it, The Dark Knight Lights Up or whatever the name is. That's right, Dark Knight Rises. Lights Up, same thing. Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there's now this make-believe controversy? Bain. The movie has been in the works for a long time. The release date's been known, summer 2012 for a long time. Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious fire breathing four eyed whatever it is villain in this movie is named Bain?

A terrible conspiracy, true — but not even the worst conspiracy surrounding The Dark Knight Rises. As others have pointed out, the mask that Bane (played by Thomas Hardy) wears looks... familiar. Very familiar. In fact, if you just tilt your head and squint...

The Dark Knight was one of the highest-grossing films in history, seen by hundreds of millions of people worldwide. The Dark Knight Rises is expected to surpass it. Chris Nolan is trying to Goatse the entire world.

Click here for the really, definitely, unquestionably NSFW version. Seriously, think before you click.