PR Dummies: Viscous Children and the Mothers That Hate Them

The public relations industry is much like the plastic surgery industry: vain, unnecessary, and full of soul-sucking hustler—but still, not something you should "D.I.Y." should you choose to wade into its waters. This is PR Dummies. Finding folly, every week.

We'd expected that at least one idiotic and ill-advised press release pegged to the Colorado shootings would hit our inbox this morning, but nothing sufficiently awful came through (which should be applauded). Fortunately—for you, for us, and for the healing of our nation at large—we have located, with much hard work, perhaps the very best press release of the year.

Do you like technology? Do you have stupid kids who don't even understand things? Do you like monsters? Was this written by a native English speaker? Are those quotes real? What the...?

Insane Creature Swallows iPods To Protect Them From Viscous Children

A solution To The Age Old Problem – Protecting Your iPod/iPhone From Your Children. This new idea not only protects your investment from destructive kids but also becomes a best friend.

WEBWIRE – Thursday, June 21, 2012

Enter the all new iNoScary iPhone/iPod Plush Case For Kids. A brand new idea that not only protects your investment from the destructive powers of a toddler but also becomes their best friend. A super soft, plush "monster" that literally swallows the iPod/iPhone, entirely surrounding it with a cushion of protection. A genius invention to say the least. iNoScary is an excellent solution for toddlers and teenage girls alike.

"Awesome! I love that the monster eats the iPod, too," one mom states. "Genius" says another. The response to the announcement of this invention has been overwhelmingly positive. Mothers everywhere are saying, "That. Is. Awesome" and "Wow! This is exciting" You can get one for yourself at My Kid Case.

Let's face it, kids today are spoiled rotten to the core and the younger they are the harder it is for them to even understand the value of a dollar. As technology advances at an alarming rate, so do the toys and devices our kids use to entertain themselves and the prices of these toys continue to go up and up. Our kids are no longer running around outside playing with sticks as guns and cardboard boxes as forts. Today they are hold up in their room with their headphones on and their eyes glued to their iPods or iPhones, texting their friends back and forth and jumping from app to app.

"We can't look back, we must press forward and God knows they won't stop to listen to a simple lesson on economics or conversely they aren't even old enough to comprehend. For example, a two year old is sharp as a tack, but let's face it, the kid still loves pocket change because it's shiny! The point is: they have no idea the value of a dollar much less if given a C-note they would simply take their crayons out and color a mustache onto Franklin's face."

That is the pure genius behind the new INoScary best iPod touch case for kids. It's subtle. Kids love it so much they don't even realize it's there to protect their device. To them, it's a fun, fluffy, friend that goes with them everywhere.

Another cool thing about the plush iPod case is that you are not limited to a single color or fabric. Envisionary images has released the pattern so you can make your very own iNoScary case using the colors and fabrics of your choosing for a very low cost. The pattern can be found online at www.mykidcase.com in a downloadable pdf. Don't have a creative bone in your body? Well that's ok, Envisionary Images is planning to go into production in the near future.

And the product looks great.

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