Hey, Mitt Romney, Your Horse Didn't Win the OlympicsS

Mitt Romney didn't watch his wife's horse Rafalca compete in the Olympics — "I'm not even sure which day the sport goes on," he said to NBC last week. "I will not be watching the event. I hope her horse does well." —so it falls to us to break the news to him: Mitt, the horse participated in dressage today. And it did well, but it didn't medal.

I always thought it was weird that you weren't going to watch your wife's horse compete in the Olympics, but I think I get it now — you were nervous. It's okay, Mitt. Rafalca, the Guardian writes, "acquitted herself rather well" in the dressage event, but won't be going down in history as an Olympic champion.

Since you weren't watching, here's the paper's capsule summary:

Never for a second during her seven-minute performance did a hoof stray dangerously mouthwards, nor did she do anything at all to offend or upset the host nation. From the moment she entered the Greenwich Park equestrian arena at 12.15 on Thursday afternoon, the most famous political horse since Caligula toyed with making a consul of Incitatus seemed in her element.

She bowed her neatly plaited head on cue, trotted diagonally across the sand, did the jogging-on-the-spot thing, the skipping thing, the rhythmic boogying thing, the controlled trotting thing: in short, Rafalca did everything that the occasion and the peculiar rules of the dressage demanded of her.

Let me know if you need any other Olympic scores.

[image via AP]