America's Hottest Club Is Applebee'sS

America's hottest after-hours discotheque is Club Applebee's.

Central Florida's number one debaucheritect, Applebee's assistant night manager Corey M., is back with an all-new club that answers the question: What if America's Neighborhood Grill and Bar turned into a Neighborhood Alley That America Was Afraid to Walk Down Alone every night around, say, 10 p.m.?

While certainly not promoted in any official capacity by Applebee's, this place has everything: Full Moon Blacklight Parties, Sunday S.I.N. (for our friends in the service industry), half-price chicken wonton tacos, women making out with women for attention or because they are in love (with attention), steak quesadilla towers, an extra side of ranch gratis if requested, and Casper the Handsy Ghost…It's that thing where a large man in a polo shirt no one has ever seen before comes up to your work-friend Diane and pretends to run his tongue all over her nipples and stomach and mimes that he is ramming his mmhmm into her wuh-oh and then floats away without saying a word.

If you're hoping to reconnect with the high school acquaintances you quietly unfriended on Facebook three years ago, run don't walk to any one of Central Florida's 50 (and counting) unofficial Club Applebee's franchises.

The only thing keeping you out is a bouncer named Your Pride and he can be plied with Well Pricing on 2-4-1 Bacardi Limon drinks, available on Tuesday nights only.

[Business Insider // AdAge // Images via BI, Flickr/the_justified_sinner]