Prose Poem The News: McDonald's Considers Expanding Breakfast Hours

Midnight. Noontime moontime. 00:00 o'clock.

Beneath Artemis' silver face: a glowing gold arch.

Empty tables. Piled Big Macs. A coffer run dry.

Less than 1% of sales occur between 2 and 5 a.m. – why?

Because the devoted still slumber, because they think they need rest.

Because they do not know it's already breakfast.

In the Buckeye state, a plan from a marketing crew:

Cast off the old clocks, then make them anew

Re-jig their insides; bargain with the sun

12 a.m.: Not midnight, but "midday: Part I"

Breakfast's first hour: time for hash browns and juice

Time for sausage, for McMuffins, for burritos and fruit

The humans are dead; the "Nocturnivores" reign

So says Fahlgren Mortine's advertising campaign

If Ohioans accept the New Order of things,

The plan could expand; grow national wings

From Appalachia to Reno, a breakfast hour: doubled

From five hours to ten; but, still, there is trouble

For woe unto ye who arrive just one minute late.

It's bagels, you seek? #smh Breakfast stops at eight.

[Columbus Business First reports that most McDonald's franchises across Ohio are currently being used to test "Breakfast After Midnight" — a proposed limited menu expansion that will push McDonald's breakfast starttime from 5 a.m. to 12:00a.m. // Image via AP]