American Airlines is offering a new service: for $30, they'll deliver your checked luggage to any address within 40 miles of the airport. Instead of picking up your own luggage from the carousel, simply leave the airport, and your luggage will arrive at your destination within four hours.
Hey assholes: you just paid $25 to check your bag and now you're paying $30 simply for the privilege of not picking up your bag after a very brief wait (even though your bag was manufactured with a handle to enable carrying) for a total of $55 just to have other people carry your own one single bag one way instead of you carrying your own bag one way and pushing it in the overhead bin for zero dollars and carrying it out for zero dollars which is absolutely free, which you can very easily do, thereby emerging with the easiest $55 net gain you will ever get in this harsh world of ours.
You have too much money.
The purchase of $30 one-way bag delivery should come with a $10 million tax to fund health care for people with missing limbs. They wish they could carry their own bags.
America is fat.