"5 years ago, I was disowned via letter when I came out to my father," writes Redditor RegBarc.
The letter in question arrived a week after RegBarc gave his dad the news over the phone.
"I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle," his father's "difficult but necessary letter" begins. "I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don't expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all."
It gets worse:
God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad.
RegBarc and his dad remain estranged from one another and haven't talked since, but he says he's mostly moved on. "5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while," RegBarc writes. "When it does, I say without hesitation: Fuck you, Dad."
Many of the comments in the thread are worth reading, but the one that sticks out is from a Redditor whose adoptive son came out to him when he was 15.
"So here's the opinion of someone who's been in your dad's shoes, but didn't have his sad mental baggage," writes newvideoaz. "Your dad failed a really huge parenting test. Period."
He'll always be your father. That's biology. But biology is fickle. We know this because while he has perhaps passed a lot to you via DNA, he did NOT pass along intolerance or stupidity. He can "disown" you in his brain all he likes, but that doesn't mean much because he's already proved that whatever his strengths might be, he's allowed his thought processes and natural instincts to become seriously flawed. How you feel about him. Hurt, sad, angry, disappointed, that's yours to shuffle as you see fit.
But trust me, this is about him, not you. I actually hope that someday he gets a chance to look deeply in his heart and comes to understand how horribly, terribly he screwed this up. If so, he'll maybe have a chance to start some personal redemption and healing. But he needs that. You don't.