This week we violated someone's rights, championed trash, were culturally-impoverished, and encouraged the systematic murdering of all cats. All in all, a pretty solid week here in the SoHo HQ. See y'all next week!
Sorry For Violating Your Rights to Have Rights
I Feel as though you are violating my rights. I may be an aftra wanna be, but i have rights and feelings and an opinion- I Have The Right
You Are a Champion of Trash, But At Least You Are Not Related to Honey Boo Boo Child
In your article titled "What Honey Boo Boo Child Is and Why You Should Care: A Guide to Reality TV's Trashiest Sensation" you do your best to describe reasons why the show has some measure of value. It is impossible for me to disagree more on virtually every point of your article except the idea that an apparently happy family is, if supportive of one another.
In every other way, this "show" is absolute, unfettered, and sadly unapologetic trash. It is a failure in every way to provide anything of value or instruction. Even to consider it comedy, either unintentional or dark, is impossible. This is a show about the ignorant family who happily whores their daughter in sexist exploitative competitions. They produce nothing, offer no insight on the human condition, and do not aspire to be anything better.
This is failure of television, and to some extent society as a whole for allowing and even encouraging such trash. Maybe you were assigned the article, or perhaps you chose it, I have no way to know. However, it is your choice to write the article in the manner you did trying to justify such excrement. You should feel bad for championing such trash. The only consolation I can offer is that you did not produce, or star in the show.
A Cathartic Letter from a Southern Gentleman
Came to this:
The family attends their local Redneck Games, which is an over-the-top display of Southern culture
...aaand stopped reading, suddenly remembering precisely why I only come to Gawker once in a blue moon these days.
Mr Juzwiak, I understand the cocept of "culture" is very difficult for you as you've not been exposed to much of it outside of the bubble you live in, and what little culture you do absorb has already been modified and com-modified beyond recognition. When I read the above statement of yours I felt in rapid succession some sort of minor outrage, followed by nausea, followed by utter pity for you, finalized with self-hatred for myself for even going to Gawker and reading the article in the first place.
I was just so much happier living away from this type of ignorant shit. I don't mean the freaks on TV—I mean your ignorant puke of a post. I suppose I'll thank you for sending me away from Gawker again while making sure every one I know knows just how bad, just how shitty, Gawker and it's pathetic writers are these days.
I hope you take a bad step today and break your ankle and it is excruciatingly painful, you effete, sad little twerp. Then I hope as it is breaking you fall and skin your face on the hot concrete, you culturally-impoverished little shitstain. And shame on your culturally-impoverished hack editors for fostering this type of ignorant twaddle time and time again.
I wrote this for myself to feel better, not to try to make you see how bad, just how bad, you look to the world. That takes care of itself. Mind you I was born in New York City and have lived there as well as northern England, Amsterdam, Sao Paulo, New Orleans and Houston—I understand cultural relativism.
I'll go back to my Southern culture now. I won't bother to explain what that is actually comprised of. It's hundreds of years old, refined, brainy, brawny, unique and truly fascinating. It's not for you.
Now go fuck yourself.
Some Confusion About The Illuminati
I don't get why celebrities become illuminati because god is given them a chance to become successful. No matter what thing or tests god put them through in order to get there god does everything for a reason and it's up to that person to do the right thing
Cats are people, too
Please, please, please remove the final line in your article about killing all the cats. I know it is a joke, but would it be OK to end with, let's kill all the blacks or gays or female Gawker authors? It's not funny and potentially very harmful. Our society produces enough warped animal-harming individuals without any encouragement, whether real or artificial.