Kristen Stewart's movie mom, Jodie Foster, penned an essay for The Daily Beast Wednesday telling everyone to lay off Kristen Stewart.
The piece contained a little over a thousand words, most of them about Jodie Foster and how Jodie Foster's life might be different if Jodie Foster's life had been different. It contains some hep poetry jam lines like "Lift up beautiful young people like gods and then pull them down to earth to gaze at their seams." It mentioned, briefly, how Foster met Stewart when the latter was only 10, and "grew to love that kid."
Then, in the midst of all this vaguely stream-of-conscious (but generally coherent) prose that Really Makes You Think, Foster serves up one insane, inscrutable aside.
To give context where there is no context, Jodie Foster has just described watching 11-year-old Kristen Stewart play basketball with some of The Panic Room's crew:
There's this image I have of a perfect moment. It comes to me as a square format 8mm home movie with 70's oversaturated reds and blues, no sound, just a scratchy loop … there's a little white-haired girl twirling in the surf. She's singing at the top of her lungs, jumping and spinning around in the cold water, all salty, sandy, full of joy and confidence. She's unconscious of the camera, of course, in her own world. The camera shakes a little. Perhaps her mom's laughing behind the lens. Could a child be more loved than in this moment? She's perfect. She is absolutely perfect.
Cut to: Today … A beautiful young woman strides down the sidewalk alone, head down, hands drawn into fists. She's walking fast, darting around huge men with black cameras thrusting at her mouth and chest. "Kristen, how do you feel?"...
Is this little girl Kristen Stewart? Why does Kristen Stewart have white hair? Was Kristen Stewart alive in the '70s? Is Kristen Stewart a vampire? Is this little girl Jodie Foster? Is Jodie Foster a vampire? Is this the little girl Jodie Foster wished Kristen Stewart had been? Is this little girl an attention whore? Kristen, how do you feel?
The piece is worth a read if you love Jodie Foster or if you suspect that little girl might be you.
Otherwise, here's the gist: Leave Kristen Stewart alone, actors need privacy, it's hard to be an actor, the beach is a fun place to take a perfect child.
[The Daily Beast // Image via Getty]