Coffee Shop Bans 'Talking about Annoying Hipster Topics'; Irony Reflects Back On Itself On and On to Infinity

A coffeeshop in San Francisco has just posted a list of rules for patrons wishing to drink coffee in its alley, an exclusive alley available only on weekends or whenever you wander down the alley.

Coffee Shop Bans 'Talking about Annoying Hipster Topics'; Irony Reflects Back On Itself On and On to Infinity

As noted by SFist, most of the rules are obvious. Don't litter, bring in your dishes, watch out for cars. The most difficult rule for patrons to follow will undoubtedly be the ban on "talking about annoying hipster topics."

"PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL OF OUR CALEDONIA NEIGHBORS BY:
…not talking about annoying hipster topics, or who you fucked last night. You shouldn't do that anyhow, but our neighbors actually can hear you."

The list ends with the sign-off "Mucho Smoocho" which seems itself like a sort of ironic (and therefore hipster?) valediction.

In case anyone is looking to drink coffee in an alleyway this weekend, here's a handy list of hipster topics and not hipster topics:

  • BANNED topics:
    Music (especially bebop)
    Bicycles/unicycles
    Stripes
    Glasses
    Denim
    Money (having none of it or having a lot of it)
    Solange
    Who you fucked last night
    Nightshade
    Left-handedness/ambidexterity
    Jon
    The written word
    Beards (appreciation of)
    Anything that happened before 2000
  • APPROPRIATE topics:
    Paul Ryan (in a non-sneering tone)
    Tricycles
    Contact lenses
    Twill-cotton blends
    Money (having a normal amount of it)
    Beyoncé
    Who you made beautiful love to last night
    Sunflowers
    John
    Right-handedness
    Beards (disapproval of)
    The future
  • Have you ever talked to someone who was not a hipster? What did you talk about? Please offer un-ironic suggestions below.

    [via SFist via MrEricSir]