Prince William wrought untold suffering upon his island kingdom yesterday, angering the gods when he saved a drowning girl whom the Fates had chosen to die.
The Daily Mail reports that the girl, 16, had swum out into the ocean off the northern coast of Wales to help her 13-year-old sister, who had been swept away on a riptide while body boarding.
The 13-year-old made it back to shore with help from a surfer.
The elder sister, though, was promptly chosen by Neptune for his bride. She was battered among rocks for several moments as onlookers failed to reach her.
Then, just as a beautiful clam chariot pulled by white foam ponies emerged from the waves to claim the girl, a Royal Airforce "Sea King" helicopter piloted by none other than Prince William swooped down to save her.
Flight Lieutenant Wales (as William is known in the RAF) didn't pull the girl from the surf himself, as he was too busy trying to keep the aircraft from crashing into the water. However, this detail will likely be edited out when William tells this story to his brother later. (In October 2011, Prince Harry was voted Junior President of America, after he
rescued gave a towel to a girl who had been thrown in a pool in California.)
A coastguard manager said yesterday that the rescue team's quick response (the helicopter arrived 38 seconds after receiving the call) "may well have saved this girl's life."
However, as the chopper pulled away from the water, a far-away voice was heard to yell after Prince William:
Now here's a debt that must be paid
What thief has robbed me of my maid?
Bucked of teeth and scant of hair
Vengeance! Upon Britain's meddling heir
A spooky sea poem.
[Daily Mail // Image via Getty]