Tennis and candy go together like tennis and candy, so it makes perfect no sense that tennis superstar Maria Sharapova has just unveiled a new line of utterly incomprehensible candies.
The "Sugarpova" candy line, which, the Sugarpova website notes, is "premium," meaning "normal product but very over-priced," consists of all the candies you know and love from your local gas station checkout counter, repackaged in a way that makes them inscrutable.
For example, when you pay $5.99 (plus $7.95 shipping) for a 5-oz bag of "CHEEKY: Cute but fierce," what you have actually bought is a $13.94 bag of gummy bears.
When you order SPORTY: The taste of victory," you get a $13.94 bag of gumballs shaped like tennis balls.
"SMITTEN SOUR: Sugar, spice, and mostly nice" is "rainbow strips."
Are you starting to see a pattern? It's a red herring. There is no pattern. (If red herring were a Sugarpova offering, it would be packaged as "SNEAKY: Important but a lie" and cost $9,000.)
Of those aformentioned gumball tennis balls (which are, indeed, both round and green), Sharapova recently told People "These were so hard to create. It's incredible to make it realistic in such a small shape."
Sharapova personally chisels each tiny gumball into a tennis ball shape by hand before sending the candy batches to a factory where the spheres are melted down and re-cast into tiny gumballs shaped like tennis balls.
Sugarpova is available for order online or at a select number of IT'SUGAR retail locations, such as Branson Landing in Missouri and the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai.