22-year-old high school freshman Taylor Swift has upset some powerful people in her day. Kanye West, when she won "Best Female Video" at the 2009 VMA's. Victoria Gifford Kennedy, when she crashed a Kennedy wedding and tried to touch her rough paws to Kennedy skin ("a handshake," Taylor called it) — how vulgar. But what Taylor didn't realize when she crashed that wedding was that she was crossing a force far more powerful than either Kanye West or Victoria Gifford Kennedy:
She upset Kathie Lee Gifford.
Kathie Lee Gifford revealed on her unwatched hour of the Today show Thursday that she, too, had been been present at last weekend's Kennedy wedding. That she, too, had seen the little farmer's daughter dart out of the bushes, stuff her mealy mouth with canapés, and scamper back into the underbrush, yelling "WEIRD SANDWICHES!"
That she, too, had been appalled.
In short, Kathie Lee confirmed the wretched truth that Taylor Swift's publicist wants so badly to disappear: Taylor Swift crashed that damn wedding.
Kathie started off the story by focusing on its most important character:
"Why can't I stay out of trouble?"
Kathie Lee Gifford is married to Frank Gifford, the grandfather of bride Kyle Kennedy. That makes her the step-mother of Victoria Gifford Kennedy, the woman who first explained to the Boston Herald that the feral demon of New England folklore, Swift, had once again awoken.
To make the connection a little clearer: Kathie Lee Gifford married the father of the mother-of-the-bride (who married the son of the brother of John F. Kennedy), whose nephew is dating Taylor Swift, who crashed the wedding and was asked to leave but did not leave.
Here's how Kathie described the ordeal (For accuracy's sake, imagine a turtle named Hoda Kotb talking over Kathie Lee as she struggles to get these words out.):
"[Victoria] said to me as it was happening 'I'm really not happy about this.' She didn't know if [Conor] was coming or not. She heard that he might be, but he got in touch with her an hour earlier, and said, basically, ‘Can I bring my girlfriend?' [This was] a beautiful sit-down dinner that had been planned for months.
She said very nicely, 'Please do not come.' Guess what? They came.'"
Kathie confirms: Taylor Swift-Kennedy's stalking of the Kennedy family is now a national news story.
Previously in Taylor Swift's stalking of the Kennedy Family:
World's Least Agile Social Climber Taylor Swift Refused to Leave a Kennedy Wedding When Asked
Taylor Swift Kissed Conor Kennedy, Pass It On
Taylor Swift Is Stalking The Kennedys
[The Today Show // Images via Getty]