Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann Address Same Crowd, Say Predictably Stupid Things

Former pizza slinger and (allegedly) prolific sexual harasser Herman Cain spoke at an event in Tampa tonight. The New York Times described the event as an "an alternate unity rally in a church made up mostly of Tea Party supporters," which sounds both fascinating and horrific. Cain's speech to the "several hundred" - how far you've fallen, Herman – people in attendance was about what you'd expect. The highlights:

  • Herman the crusader: "I'm still on a mission to defeat Barack Obama!"
  • Herman the excuse-maker: He blamed his campaign exit on "lies and dirty politics," and not, you know, repeated accusations of sexual harassment.
  • Herman the teacher: Cain said a goal was to "educate the country about 'the ABC's: American Black Conservatives.'"
  • Herman the trickster: "There were some people who hoped you all wouldn't show up. Y'all fooled them!"
  • Herman loves the kids: "It's not about me, it's about the grandkids. That's what a lot of people don't understand about what Herman is up to."
  • So that's what Herman is up to.

    If that's not enough for you, wild-eyed Islamophobe Michele Bachmann was also there. She was topical, as always, telling the crowd that the country is going through "a spiritual hurricane."

    [Image via AP]