Argentines To Take 'Save the Whales' Campaign to Next Level By Executing SeagullsS

Seagulls in Argentina have changed from your standard beach pests into whale killing monsters, or so say Argentine authorities. It appears seagulls there have taken to pecking tiny bits of flesh from the backs of southern right whales as they surface for air, which naturally hurts the whales but, more importanly, hurts the whale watching industry in the area. As the AP put it, the seagull attacks are damaging the "region's tourism industry as well, by turning whale-watching from a magical experience into something sad and gruesome." Local tourist officials agree.

"It's not just that the gulls are attacking the whales, but that they're feeding from them, and this way of feeding is a habit that is growing and becoming more frequent," said Marcelo Bertellotti, who works for the National Patagonia Center, a government-sponsored conservation agency. "It really worries us because the damage they're doing to the whales is multiplying, especially to infant whales that are born in these waters."

Which is to say: it's seagull hunting time. Under a government-sponsored warplan called the "100-day Whale-Gull Action Plan," authorities are planning to shoot as many seagulls as possible using rifles and then, somewhat improbably, recovering the dead birds before other marine life eat the bullet-filled gulls, which would create even more environmental damage.

Of course, many environmentalists disagree, saying the only effective way to reduce the seagull population is by closing nearby open-air dumps and preventing fishermen from littering spare fish parts. But years-long campaigns from the likes of Greenpeace to enact such measures have been unsucessful.

So, if you've ever been shit on by a seagull and want your revenge, now's a good time to move to Argentina.

[Image via Shutterstock]