Chris Matthews and Andrew Breitbart Meet at a Sad MallS

The Republican Convention isn't all "inside baseball" and "delegates" and "wandering around inside prison-style fencing in search of meaning." It's also about venturing out to see "the real Tampa." Sometimes, you have to get out of your chair, go "outside the wire," and take in a screening of a haranguing right wing documentary with an unmistakably karmic ending.

Chris Matthews and Andrew Breitbart Meet at a Sad MallS

I would just like to point out here for all of you watching at home that MSNBC's Chris Matthews is taping from a set that is literally placed dead in the middle of a depressing open-air shopping mall. I thought I was just going to take in a free screening of the hot new documentary Hating Breitbart, but as an added bonus I got to sit around the Channelside Bay Plaza courtyard, surrounded by morbidly empty restaurants and a lone knockoff Jimmy Buffet guitar-strummer in front of a Morning Joe banner and a crowd that numbered in the dozen, and watch Chris Matthews LIVE on air saying some things I couldn't make out. Quite the thrill for myself and the other average Americans around. He looks like The Penguin. (On the way out I saw Joe Scarborough walking over, reflexively nodding and smiling to the people he passed, whether they had acknowledged him in any way or not.)

Upstairs, as many as ten people including your correspondent had assembled for a free screening of Hating Breitbart, an opportunity I became aware of yesterday when some dude dropped a flier for it over my shoulder as I sat on press row, brainstorming any and all methods of escaping from press row at the Republican National Convention, up to and including purchasing a secret midnight flight back to New York. Hey, Gawker Media likes movies that are free—and we hate Andrew Breitbart (not really!). It was fate.

Chris Matthews and Andrew Breitbart Meet at a Sad MallS

The film, which features many, many rapid zoom-ins on cable news footage, in the typical budget partisan documentary style, began with Breitbart declaring "The Left's strategy is divide and conquer. I don't want to live in that world." He got his wish.

I won't reveal the ending of the film. Because about 30 minutes in, the picture went out, and they had to just turn the damn thing off. The projector bulb blew. "We're not gonna rerun this, but let's get behind this and make it a success," said the producer to huddled mass.

Draw your own conclusions, liberal cocksuckers.