Peggy Noonan Knows How Those Latinas Talk

Doddering Reaganite WSJ columnist Peggy Noonan is an authority, of sorts, on the browner peoples of America. She once saw a Mexican. It naturally falls to Peggy, then, to get to la corazon of the Republican convention speech of New Mexico governor Susana Martinez. (Or "Susan," as Peggy calls her, for assimilationist purposes.)

New Mexico Gov. Susan Martinez was a revelation. I'd never seen her speak. She came across as tough, funny, able, smart. She's like the prosecutor in a show with a name like "CSI: Child Victims Unit"-the no-nonsense Latina who tells the detectives to make the call and get the perp.

DETECTIVE: "Hello? Hi. Dan Jones, detective. They sent me over here from downtown. Is this... [checks name inscribed on office door]... CSI: Child Victims Unit? Good. Great. Just the place I was looking for. We have a child victim. Pretty gruesome stuff. But my problem is just, well... where do I go from here? What now? They said you were the one I should talk to."

NO-NONSENSE LATINA: "Make the call and get the perp."

DETECTIVE: "Right... okay. Well. I mean... what do you mean by 'make the call?' I don't really follow you. Of course we've done all the preliminary investigations and the lab work. Interviewed all the witnesses. But we're at a dead end. Who exactly are you saying I should call? 'The perp?' I mean, that would be nonsense. Clearly if I knew who the perp was, I wouldn't call him, I'd just go out and arrest him. Do you... do you actually work here? Wait. Aren't you... the governor? Susana Martinez? What are you even doing here?"

NO-NONSENSE LATINA: "Call me Susan."

Then probably they go eat tacos or something, Peggy is still working on the rest.

[WSJ. Photo: Getty]