If you're reading this, Nicolas Cage, you have $224.48 in late fees on movies you rented a few months ago.
But wait, Netflix doesn't charge late fees. What gives?
Turns out Nic Cage didn't use Netflix — he actually went to Old Bank DVD in Downtown L.A. to rent A Star Is Born and The King of Comedy. Honestly, this would be a non-story, except for the fact that Nicolas Cage goes to video rental stores, and that is worthy of our attention.
There are limited reasons to go to a video store for your rentals: either you're a technophobe and wary of online renting services, or you want to get your hands on some really filthy porn. Since A Star Is Born and The King of Comedy are not porn, we can rule out the latter.
And if you think about it, of course Cage would have a difficult time adjusting to modern trends. He's a vampire who has been alive since the Civil War.
Old Bank DVD has been unable to get in touch with Nicolas Cage, because he's Nicolas Cage, so they've taken to Facebook.
If anyone happens to run into Nicolas Cage wandering the neighborhood, please kindly remind him he's had [our DVDs] for a few months. Old Bank DVD is not responsible if he gets mad, bursts into flames and beats you up though.
Hopefully this post will help Old Bank DVD reclaim their overdue DVDs and fees.
This is a video store, remember — it's not like they can afford to let these things slide.
Nicolas Cage settled his debt with Old Bank DVD, paying a total of $40 in late fees and $40 to buy his outstanding rentals.
[Image via WENN.com]