Spangles and Bojangles: Scenes From the Pre-Convention

The Time Warner Cable Sucks™ Arena is, just as you might have guessed, abuzz with activity, right now, just minutes before the Democratic convention's formal kickoff. Would you like to tour the wonderful, wacky, and very mildly amusing scene, in photos? Why not???

Spangles and Bojangles: Scenes From the Pre-Convention

The press room at the arena is LITERALLY NO LIE the practice court for the Charlotte Bobcats. Yes, Michael Jordan may have played H.O.R.S.E. from the very spot I am sitting, because he is a degenerate gambler. In the bottom left corner of this photo, Gawker correspondent John Cook contemplates this fact, with awe.

Spangles and Bojangles: Scenes From the Pre-Convention

Bojangles Chicken is basically the de facto official food of the DNC's meeting hall. Paging edgy right wing morning DJs who pull no punches for the "PC" crowd!

Spangles and Bojangles: Scenes From the Pre-Convention

This is the only coffee for sale in the whole arena. They're charging $3.25—for a small. And you bet they're getting it, what with all the latte-sipping liberals, with their coffee! Democrats!

Spangles and Bojangles: Scenes From the Pre-Convention

All the people in this long line are waiting to have their pictures taken in a photo booth so that their pictures can then be projected on the "big screen" during the convention. Narcissists. You might ask, "Why is the man in back in the crazy festooned hat waiting in line, when he will doubtless have his picture taken by hundreds of news photographers tonight seeking a shot that personifies the 'color' of the DNC?" Good question.

Spangles and Bojangles: Scenes From the Pre-Convention

No matter where you go in this country, you can't get away from Dana Milbank's fucking face.

NOT PICTURED: Comedy Central filming in the arena's hallway—not pictured because, as I pulled out my camera, one of their fixers very annoyedly pointed out, "HEY, you're in their shot, man." Seconds later the Comedy Central cameraman nodded at the assembled crowd and hissed, "tell them not to use the flash!" The Daily Show: incredibly publicity-averse.