Taylor Swift, a sweet country girl who first got the idea to become a Kennedy after watching a Lana Del Rey music video, has found out the hard way that you do not insert yourself into the Kennedy family.
The Kennedy family constructs itself around you.
All summer long, Gawker has been chronicling Jake Gyllenhaal's ex-girlfriend's efforts to woo one of the most popular students at Deerfield Academy.
Now, a source inside the Kennedy family (not Kathie Lee Gifford) suggests it's not the Kennedys we should have been worried about; it's the wan, skittish girl. The little swift one.
TMZ recently caught up with Swift beau Conor Kennedy's cousin Patrick at the Democratic National Convention, a three-day Kennedy family reunion being held in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Patrick, a former U.S. Representative from Rhode Island, was brought to the Convention to help consult on issues related to Taylor Swift dating Conor Kennedy.
In a video posted on the TMZ website, a camera man asks Patrick, "How excited are you that Taylor Swift is gonna be in the Kennedy family soon?"
His chilling response:
"We love Taylor Swift...If she wants to be in the family, she's already a part of it."
A whoosh of metal. A plaintive wail.
That's the sound of the Kennedy family bear trap snapping around Taylor Swift's thin ankle bones, leaving her bleeding and bleating in the Cape Cod wilderness. (Actually a well-tended wildlife sanctuary.)
[TMZ // Images vi Getty]