When Kim Kardashian and Kanye West started dating a few months ago, people scoured the universe for signs that could have foretold the event.
Some studied the tomes of Nostradamus. Others consulted squirrel bones or searched the skies over Los Angeles for traces of a queer new star.
Turns out the clues were right there in Kanye West's lyrics all along, dum-dums.
Sources "extremely close"to Kanye West reportedly told TMZ that West repeatedly embedded veiled references to Kardashian in many of his songs, after the two met and became friends a few years ago. TMZ claims an extended metaphor about high school dynamics in 2009's "Knock You Down" was actually intended as a hidden message to Kim.
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams / And seemed to only date the head of football teams / And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing / We were never meant to be, baby we just happened.
At the time, Kim was still dating football player Reggie Bush. And later in the song, he says, "You should leave your boyfriend now," a reference to how Kim should have left her boyfriend then. The "baby" line is about Kim, too, because she used to be a baby.
Of course, this is but one example of the many clues left by Louvre curator and Priory of Sion Grand Master Kanye West in his music. More recently, West's lyrics have lovingly described Kim as "the perfect bitch" who became "a superstar all from a homier movie" (sex tape).
So now everyone has to spend the rest of their weekend scanning his back catalog for other appearances of the Kardashian Kode.
Here's what we've come up with, to get you started:
- "Reality is catchin' up with me" – Power, Kanye West
A reference to the Kardashian family reality show.
- "Can't let her grow up in that ghetto university" – All of the Lights, Kanye West
As a teenager, Kim Kardashian attended Los Angeles' famed all-girls Marymount High School. Upon graduation, she attended the prestigious Ghetto University, where she double majored in French and Classical Studies.
- "Since OJ had Isotoners"- Stronger, Kanye West
A reference to famed "O.J. Trial" in which former football star O.J. Simpson was arrested for stealing a glove. Kim Kardashian's father, Rob, was one of Simpson's defense lawyers.
- "All the mocha lattes / You gotta do pilates" – The New Workout Plan, Kanye West
- "Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings / Of the bluebird as she sings" - Daydream Believer, Davy Jones
Sometimes Kanye West would even travel through time to leave romantic love notes for Kim in other songs. They didn't always make sense, but his intentions were pure.
- "My love, a-bigger than the Cadillac / I try to show it 'n you drive-a me back" – Not Fade Away, Buddy Holly
Kim Kardashian recently bought Kanye West a Lamborghini for his birthday.
- "Greensleeves was all my joy / Greensleeves was my delight" – Greensleeves, Anonymous (Kanye West)
Kim Kardashian looks great in green.
What other messages to Kim Kardashian can you find buried deep within the forests of Kanye West's lyrical wonderland?