This morning on the 700 Club's regular segment "Bring It On," in which horrible people ask other horrible people how to continue being horrible people, a man asked Pat Robertson how to work things out with his wife who "has no respect for [him] as head of the house." Pat Robertson responded, unblinking:
Well you could become a muslim and you could beat her.
Whole seconds pass before Pat chuckles as if he were kidding (which, as it becomes clear, he is not) and continues to deep-throat his own foot:
Somebody's gotta stand up to her, and he can't let her get away with this stuff... I don't think we condone wife-beating these days, but something's gotta be done to make her—
"Not physically, of course," co-host Terry Meeuwsen tries to redirect before Robertson goes on to to diagnose this man's "rebellious" wife with some sort of weird pre-Oedipal, temper tantrum, "unwilling to submit to authority" type thing. "What do you do with that?"
You can't divorce her, according to the scripture. MOVE TO SAUDI ARABIA.
And then he swallowed.