I walked outside the other morning and, for the first time in eons, the temperature was below 60 degrees. And I was so excited for the cool air that I pulled my shirt away from my body and let it waft up my torso. "Here, nipples! Taste the refreshment!" Then I immediately ran into the house to announce the conditions to the rest of my family. "It's kinda cool out there! We may need pants!" Pant weather is quickly approaching and now is the time to think about which is the most enjoyable wardrobe for you, the average American man/woman/manwoman.
There's a certain amount of unrestrained glee I have for making the switch to winter clothing. After months and months of wearing shorts (NOTE: If you are against wearing shorts, please consult this post.), it's nice to have all kinds of pants and long sleeved shirts to bring back into the rotation. This is especially true when you're a kid and you just bought all kinds of kickass new clothes on your back-to-school trip to the mall. When I was a kid, my mom would take me to JC Penney and load me up with husky pants and rugby shirts and I always wanted to wear them right away because I thought they made me look badass. But it was never cold enough to wear that shit right at the beginning of the school year. I always had to wait a couple of weeks or else my husky jeans would be tainted with swampass right from the get-go.
Of course, by the time spring rolls around, you're sick to death of your winter clothes and are more than ready to welcome back shorts and skirts and tank tops or whatever summer clothing you have with open arms. So that got me thinking: If you had to pick one group of clothes to wear all year round, which one would you pick? Let's assume that temperature isn't an issue, because then you're picking strictly as a matter of comfort. I'm more interested in the aesthetic satisfaction involved here. Do you prefer wearing winter clothing, which means:
• Those boots you ladies wear that you tuck your skinny jeans into, if that's still a thing
• Knit hats
• Cleverly disguised body fat
Or spring and summer clothes, which means:
• Tank tops
• Bare skin
• Nipple tassels
Obviously, there is overlap between seasons. And if you're some smarmy asshole in LA, the change of seasons isn't really an issue for you. But, in general, we're looking for which one you folks in the discussion section ultimately prefer. By the way, I vote for summer clothes, strictly because I find putting on pants to be too much effort.
Photos: Sean Nel, Yuri Arcurs / Shutterstock.