TV’s Fall Haul: Partners

For the next few weeks, we'll be evaluating many of the new fall shows as they air. Last night, the other gay show premiered. In addition to Partners being the new New Normal, it's also the new Will & Grace since that show's creators, Max Mutchnick and David Kohan, devised this one too. Double the pleasure, then.

Partners, Mondays, 8:30 p.m. ET, CBS

One-sentence description: Loosely based on Mutchnick and Kohan's real life friendship, Partners' childhood friends Joe (David Krumholtz) and Louis (Michael Urie) didn't let a little thing like a difference of sexuality stop them from teaming up as business (but not sexual) partners in an architectural firm.

(It's a good thing, too, because sexual partners in an architectural firm would result in no work being done and a lot of broken models. You know how crazy gays are with their butts.)

How good is it?: It's blowjob-with-teeth good, which is to say unpleasant and I don't even care enough about it to advise on how it can improve. Get out of my bed, Partners.

Partners disagrees, though — this show thinks it's adorable. Brandon Routh plays Louis' boyfriend Wyatt, whom Louis constantly denigrates (you know how bitchy gays are!) for being a nurse, even though it would seem that they got together after Wyatt was already a nurse. In the words of Judge Judy: You picked him! What an asshole. Louis thinks Wyatt will be promoted to doctor in no time (you know how stupid gays are!). Anyway, my point is that despite this abuse, Wyatt laughs at Louis constantly, which illustrates why they stay together and also how funny this show thinks it is. Furthermore, Partners' theme consists of hand claps and it's reprised throughout between scenes, so the show always sounds like it's applauding itself. And then there's the studio audience, which is maybe the most annoying component of all. Said Mark Harris on Twitter last night:

That ain't cute.

Best joke: Louis and Joe's sassy Latina underling, whose boobs Louis rests on when he needs comfort: "Joke joke joke, gay gay gay — I will cut you." I just think the idea of Louis getting cut is hilarious.

What's annoying about it: The most annoying thing is how these two characters exist to remind you how different straight and gay guys are. The straight has a girlfriend (played by Sophia Bush) who wants to get married; the gay is a gay. The straight is rational and reserved; the gay is emotional and gossipy (you know how loose gays' lips are!). The straight says, "I didn't want my drama to get in the way of our work"; the gay says, "Ugh, my god it's so funny I always feel like our work gets in the way of my drama." Take it from an actual gay man: being friends with straight guys is nowhere near as exhausting as this contrast competition. I wish they'd get it out of the way and have an actual pissing contest, but I get the feeling that Louis would be pee shy. Joe's kind of a weenie, too.

Is it worth watching again?: No no no, gay gay gay, I will cut myself if I have to.