From crime to AIDS to the debt, America is facing a lot of problems. But there's a simple solution, according to this letter: cast this woman in a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio. Not only will "less [sic] children... be harmed by confused followers of Leonardo DiCaprio," but Los Angeles might get the Olympics again.
"This was sent to the head of [a major studio] here in LA," a tipster told us, passing along the multiply-fowarded email and attached PDF. "It's a masterpiece and I think we need to start a... movement and get her in a film so that the children stop dying, etc." We agree. Below, some highlights, and the whole letter (plus attachments!).