Luckily the local news was there to interview the drunk guy (and the squirrel). According to police reports, the squirrel was "eating him." According to Drunk Guy's girlfriend, the squirrel wasn't "eating him; he was just crawling around in his shirt." According to Drunk Guy himself, the squirrel was "just tired" and "resting" in Drunk Guy's shirt. Now that that's cleared up, the reporter informs us that Drunk Guy was indeed drunk and has renamed the squirrel DUI (pronounced: doo-ee).

Takeaway message: unless you want to be on the local news for drinking and driving with a pet squirrel, don't drink and drive with a pet squirrel. Also, maybe don't get a pet squirrel either.

[KXAN]