Global Warming Is Solved: Just Make Snow Out of Sewage

Yes, sure, global warming is leading us inexorably down the path to all-out global war due to massive human displacement and destruction of resources. But let's focus on the real problem: what about ski resorts? What if people were forced to go skiing later in the season? Absolutely unacceptable. Fortunately, America is ready to tackle this problem head-on.

Problem: warmer weather means less good snow for rich people to go skiing. Solution, at the Arizona Snowbowl ski resort: "use 100 percent sewage effluent to make artificial snow." Now all of the rich people will be able to ski on sewage! Sewage full of "hormones, antibiotics, antidepressants, pharmaceuticals and steroids." But on the upside: skiing in November, in Arizona. The NYT quotes an official from the US Forest Service offering this bulletproof rationale: "Snow-making has become necessary because of climate change."

Is mankind's audacious greed and unquenchable thirst for an unnatural lifestyle causing our planet to heat up into a literal hell that will eventually destroy us all? Eh... just make some more snow, cover it up. You won't be able to tell the difference. Be sure to use lots of fossil fuel energy, to make that sewage snow.

Sewage snow.

[NYT. Photo: John/ Flickr]