Chances are if you wanted to read contemporary classic Fifty Shades of Grey, you would have read it already.
But maybe you've been waiting for the right copy. Now, thanks to the magic of online auctions and the inevitability of internet perversion, you can bid on a "thrice read" copy of Fifty Shades of Grey from "3 MILFY Brooklyn Babes."
Now, because eBay is a classy institution, the sellers can't come right out and say, "Masturbate to this." But the language is at least as erotic as E.L. James' Twilight-fanfic-turned-mommy-porn.
The lucky winner will hold in their hands a deliciously used paperback copy of the best erotic novel since Lady Chatterly's Lover. Hailing from Williamsburg Brooklyn we are 3 tragically hip mothers and best friends. We share everything from clothes to babysitting duties, so naturally we all had our way with this book. We each tremendously enjoyed reading this single copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.
(Most offensive part of that description: comparison to "Lady Chatterly's [sic] Lover" or description as "tragically hip mothers and best friends"?)
This book was passed between the trio much like the titular apparel in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The highest bidder can also request a personal note or lipstick kisses — and I'm assuming they draw the line there.
So far, there are 11 bids, and the book is still affordable at $26. Sure, you could buy a new copy of Fifty Shades of Grey — not that I recommend it — for less than that, but this one is infused with the erotic energy of hot Brooklyn moms. There might even be a MILF-y thumbprint on the cover.
[Image via AP]