Apparently you can win over $15,000 for growing pumpkins, and we should all be reevaluating our lives.
Rhode Island resident Ron Wallace broke the Guinness World Record for heaviest pumpkin with a gourd weighing an intimidating 2,009 pounds. Imagine how many pumpkin spice lattes that could make, if pumpkin spice lattes had anything to do with actual pumpkins.
This all went down at the New England Giant Pumpkin Weigh-Off, held at the Topsfield Fair in Massachusetts. Wallace got $5,500 for winning first place, and a huge $10,000 bonus for a pumpkin weighing more than a ton.
The previous Guinness World Record-holder was for Chris Stevens' 1810.5-pound pumpkin (embarrassing) — although Steve Geddes of New Hampshire broke that on Thursday with an 1843-pound pumpkin. That's right, poor Steve spent one brief day as the Pumpkin King, and he wasn't even acknowledged in an official capacity.
Steve, if you're reading this, I am toasting you with my pumpkin spice latte. And cheers, Ron Wallace, on the win that actually counts.