Over the summer, ten pieces of Cartier jewelry were stolen from the NYC brownstone of professional actress and redhead Julianne Moore. The items were valued at $127,000. No arrests have been made. Luckily, the New York Times' on the scene reporter has rounded up a few suspects.
Who stole the jewels?
The Director: Bart Freundlich
Moore's husband, director Bart Freundlich lives with Moore at the couple's home on West 11th. It is from his own family jewels that Moore's two children, Liv and Caleb, sprang. Freundlich's wife had gadgets and gizmos a plenty, whosits and whatsits galore — is it possible that for himself he wanted mo[o]re['s jewelry]?
The Contractor: Jesse Robertson-Tait
Robertson-Tait, a contractor working on Moore's home, who told the Times there's always "a great deal of activity" on the site, acknowledged having heard about the burglary. He declined to discuss the nature of his work (the Times noted "some wires hanging loosely from the roof," so maybe he's installing a swimming pool) but did admit that it was "nearly finished." Nearly finished…because Julianne Moore has so few jewels left to steal?
The Publicist: Who "Did Not Imediately Return Phone Calls Seeking Comment"
Moore's Publicist did not immediately return phone calls seeking comment. The number one rule of the Jewel Thief? Do not return phone call for comment.
The Documentary Filmaker: "Who Was Walking His Dog"
A documentary filmmaker spotted walking his dog around the block told the Times he had not heard about the burglary. He declined to give his name but did supply that of his dog's, Bodhi, then underscored his own cleverness by adding "Like the tree." Braggadocio Bandit Parades Pooch around Heist Headquarters?
The Neighbor: "In the Building Next Door"
A neighbor from the building next door, which shares a back yard with Moore's brownstone, said he had not heard of any trouble. Because his ears were filled with the jewels he stole?
The Writing Student: Marcela Gamboa
All residents of Brooklyn are being treated as suspects in the burglary of Julianne Moore's West Village home. Brooklynette Marcela Gamboa lives in Bushwick; she also works at a café located three doors down from Moore's brownstone. Gamboa seems especially well-briefed on
her mark Julianne Moore's walking habits, noting both that she "walks around the neighborhood alone," and "seems to feel pretty safe here." Could $127,000 in Cartier be Gamboa's ticket out of Brooklyn or, anyway, into a part of Brooklyn closer to Manhattan?
The Café Customer: With a "Blueberry-Size Diamond on Her Ring"
A customer in the café where Ms. Gamboa works "expressed surprise" when informed of the theft. She also bragged to the Times that she "had recently seen Ms. Moore at a local farmers' market," which is not the same thing as being friends with her. Were these baubles just more fruit-sized gems for this Carmen Miranda of thieves?
The Musician: Rufus Wainwright
Julianne Moore spent part of the Cruel Jewel Summer in Montauk, N. Y. attending the wedding of musician Rufus Wainwright. Did Wainwright take it upon himself to set up a private wedding registry in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond that is Julianne Moore's five-story brownstone?
Hash out your theories in the discussion space below. Remember, you can only accuse a suspect of having committed the crime in the room in which your piece currently rests, and you must also identify a weapon.
[NYT//Image via AP]