In the public relations industry, the fine art of pitching stories often consists of little more throwing shit against a wall and seeing what sticks. Regardless: it's important to have the right shit, and the right wall. This is PR Dummies. Having the right shit is what we do.
We receive many pitches. Many of them are bad. This one, which we received about a week ago, is so bad that it has educational value. May our parenthetical notations will serve as a guide for future PR professionals.
Dear Huffington Post, [We are Gawker.]
Hello! My name is Veronica. [Hi.] I found your blog through my research on Technorati, Google, and Social Media sites. [Thank you, fascinating.] After reviewing your site, I commend you. I respect your work. I know that blogging is more work than most understand. [God damn right Veronica.]
I'm reaching out to you to start the discussion of working together. I'm looking to promote our easy, convenient, and confidential car title loans as an alternative to other traditional lender options for those across the nation with financial hardships. [Let me stop you right there, Veronica. You see, we are a humorous general interest blog site with little to no connection to the topic of car title loans. Furthermore, we are not in the business of promoting specific car title loan companies. Even our car site, Jalopnik, where you should have sent this email (if only you did not think we are The Huffington Post), does not do that. So you're really wasting your time here. Thanks anyhow. You may stop writing, hit "Cancel," and continue on doing something more productive with your day now.] You can see one of our site at http://www.titleloan-houston.com/ (This isn't necessarily the exact website we will be using. We have about 3 websites where we will be choosing one from [That sounds incredibly shady.] .. I believe that going through a blog channel like yours is a great way to tell our story.
[Can't help but notice that this email continues, Veronica. Very disappointed.]
I wanted to propose working on a guest post or sponsored post plan and strategy together. Since this is your media channel that you have put much hard work into, I want to honor your specifications on how you would like to explore this option such as length, timing, article type (written by us or you), and price range for one to even various posts throughout a certain time period to work into your editorial calendar. [Advertising@Gawker.com]
I'm looking to start our collaboration as soon as we can find a win-win opportunity. After which, both your team and our team will get all of the content and timing ironed out.
I look forward to hearing back from you and starting a relationship with you, your team, and our company.