The Target Audience for Lincoln's New Car: Cat Funeral-Holding 'Magicians'

Lincoln, the auto company whose average customer is the same age as Abraham Lincoln, has a problem: they're rolling out a hot new car, and they would like to sell it to some people who may not be about to die. Where is the more youthful, affluent audience for this stupid car? If you said "probably buying a BMW," you are far too honest to ever be a chief marketing officer.

In Ad Age, Bradford Wernle reports that Lincoln—after doubtlessly spending an astronomical sum consulting with a bevy of professional advertising and marketing firms—has decided to reach out to a dynamic new vague audience, which they just made up:

According to an internal Lincoln marketing document, these customers see themselves standing apart from the mainstream. The document provides examples of one such person's hypothetical behavior in fanciful terms: "He famously orchestrated an officewide funeral for his assistant's old cat, even though he's more of a dog person."

That customer also is described variously as "an agile visionary" and a "magician" who's a "cultural change agent," who is "admired by a broad circle" and is "often the subject of the question, 'How does he do it?' "

Not quite "Pepsi logo based on the earth's magnetic fields"-level bullshit, but impressive bullshit nonetheless. All you cat-funeral-holding magicians, stand by for your free Lincolns.

[Ad Age. Photo of unattractive car via.]