It seems that Taylor Swift has turned her back on the chivalric code in her scrabbling quest to infiltrate a Camelot long since dead; Star magazine reports that the famous adult was spotted "making out…all night" with the cousin of her high school lover, Conor Kennedy.
That cousin? Nineteen-year-old Patrick Schwarzenegger, son of Arnold and Maria.
The magazine reports that Swift's exploration of other boughs of the Kennedy family tree occurred at a "family event" she attended with Conor.
According to a source, while Swift and Schwarzenegger were not openly fornicating right on top a buffet table, blocking everyone's access to forks and other cutlery and generally making an unrefined spectacle of themselves, the singer also "wasn't being as subtle as she thought she was."
No word on what constitutes failed subtlety on the part of Taylor Swift, but it seems pretty safe to assume it involved her thanking Patrick Schwarzenegger for the ride—even though it was a really bumpy ride, it was still one of the most amazing rides of my life—while Conor played with his Gameboy and asked Taylor if she'd remembered to pack a Gatorade for him.
Luckily for Taylor, the source maintains that Conor is just about the only one of the five hundred immediate relations in the Kennedy family who remains unaware of the fact that his girlfriend totally licked his cousin's face, for like, a long time, when she went in to hug him. (Conor doesn't get Star magazine.)
"Conor doesn't know, but everyone else in the family does."
After the romance between Conor and Taylor was made public, however, Page Six speculated that Patrick, who evidently had nothing better to do this summer than serve as a pawn in the complicated love life of Taylor Swift, was simply a decoy boyfriend put in place until Conor turned 18.
A representative for Swift denies Star's claim. Who could be more subtle than Taylor Swift?