The video above will be the new "What is the Internet, anyway?" in 20 years, when we look back on the "cyberbullying" frenzy through the lens of the stilted discourse that defined it. In it, Justin Bieber dons his smart-guy glasses, flatly delivers a plea to use the Internet to make "a positive impact on the world," and counsels a victim of cyberbullying, who doesn't really articulate her story well. She references an AIM conversation that caused people to IM her hate messages, but she doesn't explain what the contents were that made people so angry. I'm not saying she brought the hate on herself, I'm just saying she's rocking bitchy bangs. #nocybo.
Fun fact: This video is completes a plea deal to settle misdemeanor charges against Bieber's manager, Scott Braun, and the Def Jam exec James Roppo, who were arrested after a 2009 tween and teen riot at a Justin Bieber autograph signing at a Long Island mall.
It isn't a sex tape, but I'll take it.