Who’s This Hot Slut in the New Wendy’s Logo?

Wendy's, the restaurant where dreams come true if, in your dreams, burgers are square, has just released an image of its new logo, the first update to the chain's design in almost thirty years.

The familiar, dead-eyed, Children of the Corn-esque rendering of the chain's namesake has been re-imagined as a slightly older-looking redhead whose hair has shading, volume, and sexy body. The angle of her pigtails is less offensive to physics. While the old Wendy was fully contained within her circle, a two-dimensional prisoner cooking up hamburgers all day long for hungry adults even though she's a child, she's just a child, the new Wendy bursts forth from her circle; it literally cannot contain her.

"Heyyyy," this leaning, leering Wendy seems to say, in a voice that is surprisingly deep, "You guys want some hamburgers?"

The yellow/red/random curly-cue/weird shaped background has been cast aside in favor of an expanse of devastating nothingness.

The old font, a wild west throwback, has been swapped out for a more casual type reminiscent of handwriting, as though thoughtless Wendy forgot to have a professional sign made for her new restaurant, and just hand-wrote something herself on white computer paper the day it opened. If you look closely, you'll notice that the red of the apostrophe is a slightly different shade of red than that of the letters, and then never be able to stop noticing that.

(It's been a bad season for Old Western fonts. Earlier is month, Arby's also turned its back on its classic type, in favor or something with no capital letters—capital letters are an old man's game—and nary a serif in sight.)

The logo change is the latest gamble in the restaurant's attempts to rebrand itself as a "top-end" fast food chain.

Renovated locations will soon boast natural lighting, flatscreen televisions, and "cushy chairs in nooks." The company is reportedly considering introducing flatbreads, the fanciest and flattest of the breads, as a menu item. CEO Emil Brolick, forgetting briefly what exactly Wendy's is, explained to the Associated Press "Our goal is to be a five star restaurant at a three star price."

The new logo will begin appearing on newly built and renovated restaurants in March. Instagram images of the old one while you still have time.

[AP // Image via AP/Wendy's]