Relaxation Tips for the Anxious

A few mindfulness techniques to soothe the raddled and careworn among you as this day of rest draws to a close.

  • Quiet your mind. Use your thoughts to stop your thoughts in a quis custodiet ipsos sort of way. Mm, no, quieter than that. Try focusing on just one thing, then ruthlessly eliminating that one thing from your mind, and enjoy the blissful oblivion that follows.
  • Starting at the feet and slowly working your way up to the head, clench each muscle group as tightly as you can. Tense the feet - the ankles - the calves and the thighs - all the way up. Hold. Okay. Starting with the head and moving down toward the feet, relax every part of your body. It's not working. Oh God, it's not working - you're frozen in a permanent rictus of panic - imprisoned within your own body at the most alert stage of terror -
  • Heal yourself.
  • Imagine that all of your shame and regret is captured in a balloon. Hold the balloon - then let it go. Huh. That's - it seems stuck to your hand, somehow? It won't come off. Try to shake it off. Oh, that's really weird, it's getting heavie