Romney and Obama aren't going to have much to talk about in Tuesday night's town hall-style debate, as cardboard circle manufacturer Pizza Hut has rescinded its request to have an attendee ask either candidate "Sausage or Pepperoni?" during the live telecast.
Instead, the company will give away a lifetime supply of pizza to one customer online.
According to the L.A. Times, the actual offer is one large pie weekly for 30 years, after which point it is expected the recipient will kill him or herself rather than face a future devoid of free pizza pies. The winner could also opt to just take $15,600 instead, but good luck eating that, unless they give it to you in dimes.
When the debate-disrupting stunt was first proposed last week, it was met with immediate criticism from people who understand that Americans are genetically wired to debase themselves in whatever means necessary to secure free pizza. The fear was not that someone would ask the toppings question, but rather, that no one would come prepared with any question but the toppings question.
To hear Pizza Hut tell it, they're canceling the debate aspect of the promotion not because it would be embarrassing for everyone involved, including the ancient Greek inventors of democracy and anyone who has ever lost life or limb to preserve it, but because everyone should have a chance to win free pizza for life. (This is itself a pretty democratic notion. All hail the Pizza Senate.)
"We're no longer asking a few hundred attendees at the town hall presidential debate on Oct. 16 to pose the question, rather we're bringing the question – Sausage or Pepperoni? – to millions of Americans."
Moderator Candy Crowley now has just thirty one hours to think of a new opening question.
[L.A. Times // Image via AP]