Fox Nation, the delicate wordsmiths behind delicious turns of phrase like "Hip Hop BBQ," have a new creation under their belts (said belts are probably holding up Glenn Beck jeans): The conservative millennial Mark Twains have now proclaimed that Mitt Romney "smoked" Barack Obama in the coin toss for tonight's debate.
Romney won three out of the four pre-debate coin tosses. (The four tosses determine: who's introduced first, whose wife is introduced first, which side of the stage each candidate takes, and who takes the first question.) Maybe if Romney won all four of the coin tosses, there would be some reason to cheer, but he wasn't even that much of a winner. The one contest Obama won sets that the President will be introduced before Mitt Romney. This seems way more important than Mitt's wins, which put him on stage right instead of stage left and allow him to take the night's first question, as well as his last win, which makes sure Ann Romney gets introduced before Michelle Obama.
Clearly the Romney campaign has never been to a Bat Mitzvah. Does the crowd go crazy for the mom who gets to enter first? No, they go absolutely ape shit for the Bat Mitzvah girl who's wearing the nicer dress and gets to enter last. Rookie Goy move.
This all goes without mentioning that the verb "to smoke" should really be reserved for things like races, sausages, and tobacco products. It's worth noting that marijuana should always be "totally absorbed" in a big Hawaiian van with your friends that you call "The Choom Gang."
Fox Nation readers have taken their pick out of seven possible adjectives and have classified this story as "inspiring." Other "inspiring" stories? Fox Nation readers pegged that label to a story about this summer's mass shooting at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin.