The annual white-tie function known as the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner took place last night.

You know what this is: Presidential candidates put on their best bow tie and hurl insults dressed as friendly jabs at each other for the benefit of Catholic charities.

To quote Krusty the Klown, "this is always death."

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Still, if we weren't in the last leg of a highly contentious and critical election, some of these quips would be legitimately funny.

But we are in the last leg of a highly contentious and critical election, so when Romney makes fun of Obama for wanting to "redistribute" funds, or when he makes fun of himself for wanting to cut Big Bird's budget, it isn't so much funny as a helpful reminder that his zero sum policies are a joke.

Excerpts above, full speeches below.

[videos via CNN]