At long last, Donald Trump released his highly anticipated "October surprise" on YouTube today. Rumors were swirling for days about what the major announcement was going to be; the announcement that the animated toupe said was "bordering on gigantic."
The only thing about it "bordering on gigantic" is Trump's boiling red face. The statement, as it was transcribed:
"I have a deal for the president, a deal that I don't believe he can refuse, and I hope he doesn't. If Barack Obama opens up and gives his college records and applications, and if he gives his passport applications and records, I will give, to a charity of his choice—inner-city children in Chicago, American Cancer Society, AIDS research, anything he wants—a check, immediately, for $5 million."
Trump says releasing these records will "relieve the anger" of many Americans.
There is one caveat, the president must fulfill Trump's wishes by the one year anniversary of Kim Kardashian's divorce, October 31st at 5 p.m. No timezone was specified.
No word yet or ever on President Obama's response.