How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

While much of New York City turned to the tabloids this morning to read more about the Upper West Side preschoolers apparently stabbed to death by their nanny (who then turned the knife on herself), the real action was all happening elsewhere: at UrbanBaby, where dozens of superrich New York parents have been dishing out theories and advice for 18 hours.

UrbanBaby is the 4chan of rich New York parents — a fast-moving, anonymous, and troll-heavy message board dedicated to yuppie childrearing — and it would be hard to invent a subject more perfect for its commenters than the tragic death of two kids at the hands of their nanny. But it's more than just car crash-style entertaining — it's also useful!

The UrbanBaby Guide to Protecting Your Children from Killer Nannies

Don't Hire Any Mexicans

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

(Yoselyn Ortega, the nanny, was from the Dominican Republic)

Get a Nannycam

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Stay Away from Obviously Crazy People

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

You Can Never Tell Who's Crazy

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Get a Background Check

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Don't Bother With Background Checks

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Don't Be a Working Mother

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Really, Don't Be a Working Mother

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Don't Be a Stay-at-Home Mom, Either

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

And if You Do Stay Home Don't Ever Hire a Nanny

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

In Fact, Don't Even Be a Mom

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Don't Trust Your Husband

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Don't Take Anti-Depressants

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Give Your Nanny a Break

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Don't Give Your Nanny, or Anyone Else's, a Break

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

I Don't Even Know What This Is Supposed to Mean

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby

Most Importantly, Don't Read Urban Baby

How to Not Hire a Killer Nanny: The Collective Guide from Rich-Parents Website UrbanBaby