Everything You Need to Know in Hurricane Sandy's AftermathS

For New Yorkers:

  • If you don’t have power, don’t expect it back anytime soon. Also, how are you reading this?! ConEd — which says Sandy was the “worst storm in [its] history” — is working to restore power to the customers who lost it, and some people might get it back tomorrow, but Bloomberg says “you should not expect the vast bulk of people who do not have service today to get service before the weekend.”
  • Bus service is back on tonight, on a Sunday schedule. Buses will be free today and tomorrow, and tomorrow will “hopefully” be a full service schedule, according to Gov. Cuomo.
  • Subway service, on the other hand, won’t be back for a while. The Army Corps of Engineers is sending specialists to help the state drain the tunnels, but they don’t even know the extent of the damage yet, and it could be a while — one previous study, which modeled the effect of a “perfect storm” like the one we just experienced, said it could be “21 days to several months.” Which is still shorter than the time between G Trains! Boom! Tip your waiters!
  • There are also some 4,000 taxis out on the streets. They still won’t take you to Brooklyn.
  • J.F.K. Airport will be open tomorrow; LaGuardia will not. To be honest, if you’re flying in or out of LaGuardia, it’s your own fault.
  • The Stock Exchange will be open tomorrow and the Marathon is still planned for Sunday, so 90 percent of New York’s horrible overachievers will be satisfied.
  • The Greenwich Village Halloween Parade has been canceled, thank God.
  • That fucking dangling crane: there is, apparently, a “plan” for it, involving another crane being built, to dismantle the first crane. Our recommendation, after the storm as during and before, is to never go north of 14th Street in Manhattan.

For New Jerseyans:

  • President Obama’s coming! What could be more helpful to storm victims? He’ll arrive on Wednesday to “survey” the damage with Chris Christie, the Republican governor of New Jersey, who praised the president heavily to a deeply confused Steve Doocy this morning. Obama will bring a friendship bracelet and a five-page letter about his feelings that he will ultimately decide not to give to Christie.
  • The Turnpike is open south of Exit 14, so you can get to Ikea or whatever.
  • NJ Transit has suffered “unprecedented damage,” and it’ll be a while before it’s at full capacity. Two tug boats hit a bridge along North Jersey Coast Line, and some tunnels have been flooded.
  • Millions are still without power. They will get it back, you know, eventually. Jersey City is establishing a curfew on businesses without power, apparently to prevent long lines? This seems counterintuitive, but what do I know about running Jersey City.
  • New Brunswick, Atlantic City, and Warren County are all under boil water advisories.
  • Seven inmates escaped a Newark halfway house during the storm. Keep an eye out for inmates.

For Connecticutians:

  • As elsewhere, you may be a while without power. It’s going to take two days to even figure out the extent of the damage, and then an unknown amount of time following that. The good news is, all substations are back in working order.