As Diane Sawyer would say, "People around the world diiiiiiiiiiie—literally, die" for the right to vote. How do some Americans choose to wield this power so many have sacrificed their lives to obtain? By voting for Santa Claus. Or Mickey Mouse. Or a Korean-pop dance style that mimics a constipated jockey riding a horse.
Writing in candidates is often a form of protest, a personal attack on the oppressively constrictive two-party system, and many people who added Ron Paul's name to yesterday's ballot certainly felt that way. But the misspelled write-in above, a vote to elect Psy's rabidly viral hopalong movement President, comes courtesy of @ttttyson, one of the many Americans who thought it was a very good idea to mock the electoral process with their oh-so-clever jokes and show them off on social media, which may or may not be legal. Your most ridiculous write-ins are below.
George Carlin for President
"If you vote, you have no right to complain," George Carlin said. "You caused the problem; you voted them in... I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain." Unclear whether or not this means @themovietheride can complain.
A Gay Dog for President
Instagram user Outmouth voted for A Gay Dog. No specific gay dog. Any homosexual dog of any breed or color or temperament will do.
Angus MacGyver for President
Nicholas J. Jzyk from Rhode Island would like Dr. Angus MacGyver, a fictional Henry Winkler production, to be President because he can fix anything. What nerds will do for a joke.
Baracka Flocka for President
Chuck Norris for President
Kanye West for Arizona State Senate
@Arizonastraightedge, a Phoenix-based "poison-free" Nets fan with an allegiance to snapbacks and tattoos, decided that instead of voting for Anna Tovar, the uncontested Democratic candidate for State Senate in his local district, he would ink in West's name. Yeezy would just be insulted this wasn't for President.
Neil deGrasse Tyson for President
Bill Nye for VP
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson found Superman's home planet, so he should have no trouble solving climate change. Bill Nye is just super-cute.
Joe Rogan for President
Brian Redban for VP
Scott, a Los Angeles health coach, believes that a comedian best known for serving shameless humans cowbile pizza would be a great person to bolster our nation's debt crisis. Let them eat bugs and fart jokes, etc.
Captain Planet for Soil and Water Conservation Director
Instagram user @TangledWinter, a "31-year-old Oregon dreamer," thinks Captain Planet would make an excellent environmental leader. She is probably right except for the fact he's made up.
Dr. Doom for President
"The Lesser of Three Evils" is Danobgyn's caption, because Obama and Romney are way worse than an immortal creature who summons demonic hordes, kills lions, and communicates with the dead you see.
Julian Casablancas for ?
Beiber__hole69 loves Strokes' lead singer Julian Casablancas so much she's willing to write him in on the ballot. But she doesn't love him enough to suggest him for anything interesting. What is this, School Committee?
Chuy Bravo for President
Proud of you, Mark Nygard, and the world that awaits you, but Chelsea Handler's assistant is not an intelligently considered suggestion.
Phineas for President, Ferb for VP
Pakelika for President
Lil B the Based God for President
"I may run for president," Lil B has said. "You are what you believe you are. You are model, you are a rapper, you are a legend." You are also a motivational speaker who just recorded a track with your adopted cat Keke. Might as well be President too.
Surely we have missed some amusing ballot adjustments. Kindly add them below?