An Ode to the Humble Peanut, Which Sustaineth This Great Nation With Its Bounty

Good morning, America. Do you know why this is a special time to be an American? Because this is an amazing year for peanuts!

Let us toast the humble goober
Uber-popular with moochers
Forget tomatoes and tubers
News is nuts are super duper

Peanut crop this year is bumper
Call your friends, alert your mother
"Peanut party time!" you utter
Dreaming dreams of peanut butter

Glory in the earth's kind bounty
Peanuts cover every county
Millions, maybe more, who's counting?
Pounding groundnuts in our mouthies.

No hot droughts nor freezing freezes
Growing nuts in perfect season
Nuts bestowed by blessed Jesus
Reese's Pieces for your nieces.

Peanut butter toast for breakfast?
Heck it's not even a question
P.B.J. for lunch in heaven?
Yes kind sir, I'll take eleven!

Paying pennies on the dollar
For our peanut bushels oughta
Raise their spirits down in Georgia
Thank you, George Washington Carver

Have a peanut, have another
Have a mess of peanuts, brother
Though you may live in the gutter
Peanuts are cheap, motherfuckers.

[Photo: Cliff/ Flickr]