Craigslist Ad for 'Friendly Artist' Almost Certainly a Thinly-Veiled Invitation to Live-In Threesome

Today on Craigslist, a generous man makes an offer to friendly women with shitty jobs:

Alpha white attorney and student gf rock amazing huge house north of westchester and have room to support friendly artist who'd love to quit the shitty job she is performing to pay rent and live in this beautiful area and forget about shitty jobs and focus on art or education... near the lanscapes [sic] that inspired the hudson river school of artists many decades ago ... no rent, you'd be our guest

Now would be an opportune time to remind yourself of the old adage: "ass, grass, or cash; no one rides for free." What you might save in rent, amenable Young Creative, you will more than pay for in unasked-for back massages, conversations about what makes art art, trips to the vet with their multiple, profoundly ill cats, and a series of increasingly uncomfortable personal requests.

"Since you're staying here as our guest, Heidi and I want you to feel really comfortable about your body hair. If you do choose to shave any of your body hair - personally I'm not in favor of destroying any living thing, but it is your body - then I want you to know it's going to find a home in my art installation. I'm not just saying that. I mean it. I will make art out of anything that comes from you."

"Listen, you're my guest. I want my guests to feel at home. And it doesn't feel like home when someone who's supposed to be our co-sleeping partner leaves the bed before everyone else feels ready to make that transition as a group. Can I trust that you can honor that?"

"Oh, I would be happy to explain what an "alpha white" is to you. You don't mind if I take of my shirt, do you? I noticed you seem to wear yours a lot. Are you uncomfortable with your body? You shouldn't be. That's something a 'beta' would do, I think, and you're really special."

Also, at some point, you will almost certainly be asked to pay rent anyway.