Freepers Freak Out Over Obama Win, Pen Letter Asking the Queen of England to 'Take Us Back'

Conservatives everywhere are still scratching themselves trying to figure out how a website called UnSkewedPolls could possibly have skewed them wrong.

But nowhere was the post-election butthurt more palpable than on Free Republic, that bastion of children-bashing "freedom fighters," where an open letter was posted shortly after Obama reelection, apologizing to the Queen of England for "that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago," and asking the British Empire to "take us back."

It's a must-read:

Your Majesty,

We, the people of the former American colonies, would like to offer our most sincere apology over that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago. Had we known that we were going to be subjects anyway, we could have saved a lot of trouble and hard feelings.

We were under the mistaken belief that we would be free, sovereign citizens; we believed that our hard work would yield its own rewards without someone coming along and taking what we built in the name of "Fairness". We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us).

Little did we know that our own free press would intentionally sabotage, deceive and withhold the truth from us in order to reelect a Socialist that still holds distain for our nation and contempt for its founding principles. Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

Anyway, Your Grace, we are truly sorry and humbly sincerely beg your forgiveness. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and take us back, we promise never to trade British oppression for Socialist tyranny again.

Your most humble servants,

The American People

The Left has already taken the liberty of issuing a response to the Freepers on behalf of the Queen in the form of (what else?) an animated GIF:

Freepers Freak Out Over Obama Win, Pen Letter Asking the Queen of England to 'Take Us Back'

[H/T: Fark, photo via AP, GIF via The Guardian via Tumblr]