Pat Robertson, a man who has a club named after him for how many times he masturbated in one day, is stunned by the prospect of women masturbating. Robertson, who is renowned for suggesting that people might not want to adopt children and that men should move to Saudi Arabia to beat their wives, was amazed that 30% of women in the United States of America love porn.

In what can only be described as an awkward moment on his television show, Robertson asked his female co-host if she found anything in porn that attracts her. Although it was meant to be a rhetorical question, obviously, because what woman needs porn when she is staring at the messianic adonis Pat Robertson, his co-host stumbled to deny that she has looked at a naked person, let alone any porn.

Robertson hinted that bestselliing novel Fifty Shades of Grey was to blame for mass masturbation by previously chaste women, as porn and masturbating are reserved exclusively for men.

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Being one such man who has clearly watched a lot of porn, Robertson described it as "boring". However, this is not really about porn, is it? No, it is about the sexy literature that is corrupting our good women. Shield them from porn, masturbation, and books. All words, to be safe.