Every year, millions of Americans forget what is Sexy.
A hand on the hip—is that sexy? Kind of. A water bottle on its side—is that sexy? It could be I guess. A kitten who is malicious—no. A kitten who is naughty—definitely.
Thankfully, we have the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, lingerie's annual celebration of the vague shape of a wing, to tell us what is sexy.
Here is what is sexy, according to this year's runway show:
SEXY IS: Shrinking down so you're smaller than a clover and dressing like your great grandfather.
SEXY IS: Wrapping yourself in a tiger because you're on fire.
SEXY IS: All of the cheerleaders exploding behind you.
SEXY IS: The moon at Christmas.
SEXY IS: Being strangled to death by a serpent in your bra.
SEXY IS: A hula hooping dog who is bad.
SEXY IS: A girl who's a bug.
SEXY IS: Being a stamen inside a flower.
SEXY IS: Blowing kisses to angry emails.
SEXY IS: An amateur sweeper.
SEXY IS: Confused by the assignment.
SEXY IS: Keeping your shoulders dry.
SEXY IS: The naughtiest clown.
SEXY IS: The biggest hat.
SEXY IS: Deez
Nutz United States
SEXY IS: Saluting our troops.
SEXY IS: Impaling yourself on a children's bicycle.
SEXY IS: Forgetting where you left the pinwheels.
SEXY IS: A young boy staring at your tits.
That is sexy.
[Images via Getty; Justin Bieber image via AP]