What are Brad and Angelina's Kids Up to These Days? Running Around a Pizza Parlor Like Wild Demons.

Which of the Jolie-Pitt kids do you think will be the first to crack and write a book about growing up as one of the world's most glamorous itinerants? Just kidding, that's a rhetorical question. It's obviously Pax.
Here's something odd we can look forward to reading about in Pax's book in thirty or so years:

Whenever the kids travel to Brad Pitt's hometown of Springfield Missouri, they turn into wild, pizza-throwing demons, rejecting food like holy water and describing invisible shapes on the ground as they run around in light-up sneakers.

Every time the actor, 48, and his six children visit Springfield, Missouri, a source tells Us Weekly, the brood goes bananas at Arris' Pizza!

According to the magazine, Brad's local pizza joint shuts down for the night when the Jolie-Pitts roll through. He and Angelina leave their nannies at home and, with them, any semblance of decorum. According to a source, the kids (Maddox, 11, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 6, and Vivienne and Knox, both 4) "jump on tables," "throw food at each other," and "run around in circles" like broken roombas. Are some of the kids mainlining heroin in the bathroom? Us Weekly leaves much unsaid.

So where are Brad and Angelina in the midst of all this bedlam? Just sitting there talking to one another. Chilling. Maybe making straw snakes that unfurl when you drip water on them. Letting the kids "enjoy themselves."

Hopefully, when Pax's book is one day realized for cinema, this scene will provide some classic campy lines.

[Us // Image via Getty]