Which of the Jolie-Pitt kids do you think will be the first to crack and write a book about growing up as one of the world's most glamorous itinerants? That's a rhetorical question. It's Pax.
Here's something odd we can look forward to reading about in Pax's book in thirty or so years:
Whenever the kids travel to Brad Pitt's hometown of Springfield Missouri, they turn into wild, pizza-throwing demons, rejecting food like holy water and describing invisible shapes on the ground as they run around in light-up sneakers.
According to the magazine, Brad's local pizza joint shuts down for the night when the Jolie-Pitts roll through. He and Angelina leave their nannies at home and, with them, any semblance of decorum. According to a source, the kids (Maddox, 11, Pax, 8, Zahara, 7, Shiloh, 6, and Vivienne and Knox, both 4) "jump on tables," "throw food at each other," and "run around in circles" like broken roombas. Are some of the kids mainlining heroin in the bathroom? Us Weekly leaves much unsaid.
So where are Brad and Angelina in the midst of all this bedlam? Just sitting there talking to one another. Chilling. Maybe making straw snakes that unfurl when you drip water on them. Letting the kids "enjoy themselves."